One of the strangest things I think we do to ourselves is defining ourselves.
I am a wife.
I am a father.
I am a teacher.
I am a Macmillan.
It seems we have this instinctive need to belong to something greater than ourselves. A group. A family of some sorts.
There are many people I know who are trapped in feelings of abandonment and loss, not being able to get over the fact that they apparently have no recognizable group. They feel chronically alone.
Getting married for me was very healing because I finally belonged to a group. Being a part of something greater than myself was a great step towards healing the wounds and scratches of my past.
At the same time, I've come to realize that the titles and roles I have prescribed for myself have become, how shall we say, limiting...
Who am I truly? I don't know and at the same time I've always known.
It's time for me to grow...to grow beyond what I have imagined and continue to be more of the me that I know I am. And for that, titles and labels have become obsolete.
I held myself in with too many definitions.
I am lazy.
I am fearful.
I am an extrovert.
I am an introvert.
Bullshit.
What if I don't feel like being a mother today? What if I don't feel like being helpful today? What if I just want to sink back into the cocoon of silence and comfort and protection, in my room? Is that okay if I don't perform my 'duties' for a day?
Have I failed?
I am taking off this heavy coat and letting it fall. Someone else can pick it up and use it if they want to. I don't need the extra weight.
Love!
DMB
Picture: The moon over a field of cherry blossoms. Nakatsu, Japan
It seems we have this instinctive need to belong to something greater than ourselves. A group. A family of some sorts.
There are many people I know who are trapped in feelings of abandonment and loss, not being able to get over the fact that they apparently have no recognizable group. They feel chronically alone.
Getting married for me was very healing because I finally belonged to a group. Being a part of something greater than myself was a great step towards healing the wounds and scratches of my past.
At the same time, I've come to realize that the titles and roles I have prescribed for myself have become, how shall we say, limiting...
Who am I truly? I don't know and at the same time I've always known.
It's time for me to grow...to grow beyond what I have imagined and continue to be more of the me that I know I am. And for that, titles and labels have become obsolete.
I held myself in with too many definitions.
I am lazy.
I am fearful.
I am an extrovert.
I am an introvert.
Bullshit.
What if I don't feel like being a mother today? What if I don't feel like being helpful today? What if I just want to sink back into the cocoon of silence and comfort and protection, in my room? Is that okay if I don't perform my 'duties' for a day?
Have I failed?
I am taking off this heavy coat and letting it fall. Someone else can pick it up and use it if they want to. I don't need the extra weight.
Love!
DMB
Picture: The moon over a field of cherry blossoms. Nakatsu, Japan
11 comments:
First off, amazing picture! It relays exactly what you are saying so perfectly. Although you have photographed a moon, it's isolation in the sky says so much more. Awesome photojournal!!!
Sorry you're not going home for the holidays. Can you cook as well as your mother? What are the food traditions for Christams there? I can't imagine turkey and dressing...
Blessings!
BTW- I use to be vegetarian also and the chicken got me... :)
You are too funny!!!
Hi Adriann,
No, I can't cook as well as my mother. Even my mother doesn't cook as well as my mother! Past few years, she's been influenced by all these different spices and cultures and stuff.
I just keep asking her to bring it back to the 1970's, when it was good and didn't need no refining!
There are no turkeys here in Japan so I really have no idea what folks eat on Christmas--except for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Yes, there are commercials for Kentucky Fried chicken for Christmas. Here, Christmas is officially DATE night. It's considered a romantic holiday for young people and couples.
Believe it or not.
I'll post more on it soon.
The labels we impose on ourselves can help and hinder our progress in the world. We want to belong to something bigger, and it's never what we think we want.
DMD, I'm so glad I finally found you. Thanks so much for stopping by my space and sharing your encouraging comments.
I, too, am always analyzing my own labels and I agree, they can often be so limiting. Be well.
LIZ:
"We want to belong to something bigger, and it's never what we think we want."
SO TRUE! I think most of us are never satisfied or always think the grass is greener on the other side.
What a waste because we often don't realize how good we had it-- until it's threatened/or gone.
Mango Mama:
I hear you. Periodic 'housecleaning' of labels and such is so neccessary, I think!
DMB,
Thank you so much for this post! I have been in a constant battle for some time now to move past the labels that have been imposed upon me. I realized that it is not ME who has been cornering me, but others. Specifically my significant other who I guess potentially has something to lose if I break through labels that define me.
I hope others are not like me. Standing still in what has been, or has been given because it it expected, required by someone else.
Janie:
"Standing still in what has been, or has been given because it it expected, required by someone else."
Wow. Very powerful words. Very powerful reminder. Thank you.
Beautiful photography!!!
Great blog!
I've found that since I've become a wife and mother, I want to do more things that truly speak to my desires. I yearn to release my creativity...
I think that this is the case because as a mother and wife, both roles pull a lot from me, not leaving much time for "me."
I've made a conscious effort to do things that I have always enjoyed (reading, writing, etc.), prior to my "mother" and "wife" roles.
Hard part -- finding the time to do these things.
Alive with passion:
Thanks. I take a million photographs at a time and just hope that one of them is focused and looks decent!
Sage:
I love that you do that. It's hard to find the time, as you acknowledge, but at least you still acknowledge that you are a person first, not merely a role.
Post a Comment